Once upon a time someone linked me to a post on Tumblr (I have now lost the link) which gave spoof AO3 reviews of famous authors as though they were current fanfiction writers. The ones I’ve chosen were not included in the post I read. The reviews are couched in commonly used fanfiction Fanlore or Bookmark terms.

(The screenshot is of my AO3 bookmark page and the first bookmark is a fic I have previously reviewed here, giving it five stars.)

J.R.R.Tolkien:
Excellent world building and descriptive passages but unable to get to the point of the plot quickly. Stereotypical villains. A lack of female characters has led to some feminist rants in comments. An attempt to focus on non-fictional aspects such as timelines and alien languages has resulted in a warning for violation of the policy on non fanworks and an explanation that these must be appended to actual stories and not published as separate works.

G.R.R. Martin:
Not to be confused with other pseuds containing unnecessary Rs. Writes long WIPs and teases fans with promises that are not kept. Denigrates other fanworks as unimaginative. Works in series do not always contain adequate Archive warnings for major character death, rape/non con, incest, child abuse or graphic depictions of violence.

J.K. Rowling:
Another user who enjoys initials and has pseuds which are possibly intended to confuse her readers. Her early works were directed at younger fans and encouraged a lot of underage internet users to seek out the Archive (AO3 cannot allow under-13s to hold accounts because of data protection laws but they are welcome to read, preferably under adult supervision). Hints about the backstories of some characters have kept LGBT readers following her work. However, a lack of warnings for triggering situations regarding pets has meant the Policy and Abuse team has received a heavy volume of reports about which they can do nothing whatsoever.

Anthony Trollope:
Writes a great deal of mostly het fiction in which there is a fade-to-black as soon as sexual situations arise. His excellent detailed depictions of nineteenth century Brit society could serve to educate writers from elsewhere about the same period. Long series could be better numbered for smoother reading enjoyment.

Joanna Trollope:
Claims family links with Anthony. Similarly detailed social ‘world building’ with interesting characters but her works tend to lack plot which cannot be said of her illustrious ancestor.

Robert Jordan:
This user started a long series which lost itself in ever decreasing circles. The writer then died, but had fortunately designated a Fannish Next Of Kin who took over the account and finished the story to the relief of readers. The FNOK contribution is actually better in many respects than the last few original works by Robert.

Lewis Carroll:
A pseud under which a respected academic writes fantasy about little girls interacting with rabbits, queens, caterpillars and madmen. Much reported with allegations of paedophilia which are never sustained because of lack of evidence.

George Gordon Byron:
Sometimes known as Lord Byron due to his aristocratic breeding. Writes epic stories in verse but is frequently in violation of the Terms of Service due to wilful mistagging and rating of his work. Author of a poem which ends with a knight arriving at a dark tower, which gave rise to other works such as those of Stephen King. Frequently deserves, but does not always get, an ‘inspired by’ citation.

Stephen King:
Cleared of charges of plagiarism, King was still required to cite Byron as inspiration for his Dark Tower series, with a prominent link to the other writer’s work. (There has been recent debate as to whether citations are enforceable.) His other works are usually tagged ‘author chose not to use archive warnings’ and are not rated, because everyone knows that they have to beware when reading anything by this writer. He also writes meta, intended to encourage younger writers.

Dorothy Sayers:
A one-theme writer who relies too heavily on the college AU.

Agatha Christie:
This writer uses worn out tropes for her mysteries which involve stereotyped characters. She was forced (by her rather strident commenters) to re-title one work which was held to be racist and intended to harass or offend her audience.